trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
