we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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