When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
