i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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