oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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