so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The air was thick with penises
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
