Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize