Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
