Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
