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somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
