The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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