You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
