the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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