My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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