I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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