no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
nutella sex= disaster
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
