He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
