Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's Friday. Sex?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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