Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
