shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
