I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize