Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
