First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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