Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
