We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
