Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
