The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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