Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
