I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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