He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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