it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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