Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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