I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
