nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just cropdusted the office
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
