you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you never un-have a 4some
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