I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize