haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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