He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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