Pappa wants mamma naked
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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