At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
