Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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