kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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