i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize