# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
