dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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