ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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