I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
