Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
