This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Swine flu. Run for my life!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
