There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
