So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
