One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
