apparently the secret to your success is patron
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
