Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
love makes seman taste better
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
