You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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