Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
