i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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