I looked at my own cervix.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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