Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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