It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
