So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
