i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
