I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
